facebook app

February 23, 2010

Create a facebook app for singles.

They cud chat on it, or do sum other stuff.

Killer feature: Their friends won’t know they’re on the site, they can add pictures but from their profile. If two ppl connect or stuff like that, then they cud b friends and see each others facebook profile



February 9, 2010

“just write, do it! Do it!” said the voice.. As the soul stared solemnly at the bright white flourescent screen. To his amazement, the language from within appeared before his eyes. It spoke of regret, of happiness, of an aging aching soul raging from within. “All I want” he yelps, “Is my love”. Too bad he’s looking at the wrong direction.. or he would have found what he was looking for a long, long time ago.

She strolls through the routine, dreaming for someone to take her on an adventure. Quietly she waits. and waits. and waits..

.. and forgets.

his fantasy. needy without a purpose. a denial that refuses to dissolve.

George Bush X. Glycerine. Sixteen Stone.. Fragments of his mind. Like Puzzle pieces not intended to fit together.

A castle, A obelisk pulled back to earth. Crumbling pieces. Shattered feelings. If only suicide was the way to live.

If only you knew. If you only knew. We would be best friends. Forever.


Ps. search: George Bernard Shaw. “Devils Speech,” pp. 145-147; in Man and Superman. Baltimore: Penguin, 1964

Recap on the waning days of the decade

January 7, 2010

I spent the better half of the last decade working on my failings with girls. In my entire life I was never terrible with girls either. I remember this girl coming over to my house in her bikini with her friend asking me to go for a swim with them when I was 14. I said I couldn’t because my trunks were in the washer.. Oh yea, they came by not once, but twice. And the second time they were dripping wet.. Yep, I’m not the smartest apple in the apple orchid.

I ended off the decade meeting up with a girl at Yorkville. I could’ve done much better, but when you’re rusty like I am, old insecurities (which I created for myself to make my life harder) creep in. First off, I arranged the date entirely through text. I never once called her. Second of all, I just told her to meet me at Yorkville but didn’t plan on doing anything else even though she suggested that we watch a movie together the week before and have pancakes at her place :$.

Anyways, so we meet up and we head to the art gallery. We’re looking at the paintings together and we’re both wondering one thing. How can we ourselves make this? Turns out we’re both very much the artistically inclined individuals. Next stop we head to whole foods because I wanted to check out, friggen, whole foods! Turns out that place is not that far off from Longos.. what a let down

Turns out she’s got to leave because she’s got to pack, but we’re supposed to have pancakes at her place the next day. She’s leaving the country the day after that and she won’t be back in a while. The attraction is there, I know I need to kiss her to end all this speculation but at the subway station where I drop her off I let my doubting ways take over. Game over. Anton = ‘Big Fail’. I knew I wasn’t going over to her place because I didn’t seal the deal. Ah, fuck me!

Got her message the other day from whichever country she’s in:


Happy New Year!
Good luck with school!
Let all your dreams come true and don’t forget about art 🙂

.. I think when she meant art she meant the art of seduction. Thanks hun, I’ll keep that in mind for the next girls I meet :).

Got my life in order. 2010 is the beginning of a new era for me. All the major failings I’ve had with the lack of motivation, dropping out of school, quitting poker, quitting pick-up, quitting acting, quitting my DJ jobs, etc.. all those that I’ve experienced turned out to be the lesson of all lessons. I’ve spent my holiday working and preparing for May 2010. I’m expecting three things to happen:

1. I get a placement in co-op. Which will head me in the direction as a computer programmer for some corporation

2. I receive my $1500 start-up grant. Which will begin my entrepreneurship. My parents do not approve of this, and I’m clearly a little hesitant and scared. I’ll definitely be in debt instead of living in the cushy office that is 1.

3. Take summer courses and end school by 2011 and peddle my software in my spare time.

Obviously I’m most excited about #2. I’m currently preparing a business plan, updating the current piece of software that I made so by May I’ll have a good enough piece to sell, and basically setting the website up, and of course fine tuning that resume for placements. I would like to get into co-op, but my marks are barely there. And of course option #3 is pretty cool too.

I ll Let ya know kids!


Francis and the flaming guitar

December 19, 2009

This is of my friend Francis from a picture I took of him rocking it out on a guitar

Chris and Milo

December 8, 2009

I’m rushing to make Christmas presents for my friends. This one is for one of my closest friends Chris and our friend Francis’ dog Milo. I hope my brothers don’t see these until Christmas!


December 4, 2009

A Break from Time

Experiences are all that I have. I can remember the cold dry Canadian Christmas winters when I was less than 10. Damn! When I was 9 there was this small jet plane that I wanted so bad for Christmas. It wasn’t like those freakish radio controlled airplanes that can actually fly. It was attached to a base through a rod and the plane would rotate around the base. All you could do was control how high it could go (and it would only go a maximum height of 10 cm), and how fast it would rotate. And there was this awesome button, that when you pressed it, machine gun fire sound would go off! Though, it would’ve been much more fun if it had the option to stop it from roating around in a circle. Then I could’ve gotten little toy soldiers and imagined them getting gunned down or speared by the plane, muhahaha! On Christmas morning Santa (which were actually my dad and mom, and yea I found out by then 😦 unlike some of you kids who lived in a fantasy world until you were 14) surprised me with it! I was so happy.. for a while, then broke it because I was so curious as to how it worked that I took it apart and didn’t know how to put it back together.

I also remember the very first girl I was infatuated with. She was Hungrarian, a strawberry blonde, and she smelled so nice she caused my heart to hop, skip, and.. trip. I remember this one time we sat next to each other on the carpet (we were in kindergarten) and I was wearing this orange hoodie and she commented on it! And to this day I still remember that scar on her knee that got infected and healed 3 weeks later :(. I saw her last year and all her friends who happen to be the same girls that were in our class when we were in kindergarten! They are so close they never knew anyone other than each other! They didn’t turn out great unfortunately, but I’m hoping that it’s just because they’re in their phase where they still think they are hot shit. I hope they eventually become more humble.

I’ve also had painful experiences, like the time I was riding down the hill and fell off my bike, or when I embarrassed myself on the dance floor and nobody knew me to the times I stayed home by myself on New Years, watching the festivities in my warm cozy living room with my dogs. I have had sad experiences, happy experiences, to experiences where I knew that the person I was with loves me no matter what, and also experiences where we disliked each other so much all we wanted was to strangle each other. I have had only two separate experiences in my life, though. An experience alone, and an experience when I’m not alone.

I cannot live without both.

However, I enjoy and remember experiences when I’m with somebody. Because at those moments when we’ve connected I’ve felt peace knowing that alas someone else understands. I connected with a girl not too long ago on an even more unique level. That unique level where I felt the strong desire to experience her world and her to experience mine. But I’m freaked out that happened because I have taken upon myself never to allow that to happen.. at least for another year until I know that I have total control of my life. I also worry that she may decide in a year, months, weeks, even days into our relationship that she doesn’t want us anymore? But what if I make that decision, which according to my track record, has been most of the time?

Let us just be friends first.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  And we’ll see where this goes.

I’m a selfish guy too. I may treat a girl like I’m prince charming, calmly lulling her to a comfort that she is usually hesitant with letting go of. But she does, and when that happens, that’s when I disappear.. I’m insecure, yet paradoxically I have a big ego. But I have accepted, that ultimately this is my loss, for experiences are ultimately what I take from this world. And if I restrict myself from experiences of love, sex, and happiness with a sexy beautiful girl, then that is an experience that I will never have. She’ll just find someone else, and as for her experience with me? Well, it probably wouldn’t have been a good one after all seeing how much of a chump I am..

I have nothing to offer and much to learn, because I’m all out of the good stuff 😉


Perception and Reality

December 1, 2009

The other day I opened the door to front of my house when all of a sudden my puppy dashed out onto the porch. Immediately she seemed bewildered, frightened, surprised, and a whole range of other mixed bag of emotions. It caused me to relate to her in a different mode. I live in a world that revolves around me, and because I’ve formed the habit of solidarity more-so in this part of my life than in the past, I am very much aware of myself and my own existence because the only voice and thoughts that enter my mind is mainly my own.

When I was able to empathize with my puppy, Butters, I was shocked at how different our modes are. We like to use intelligence and comparison to others as fuel for our ego and it’s easy for me to say that because I’ve seen more and know more I have a greater perception of our world than Butters does. Whether or not that’s true or false, it doesn’t properly register as my conclusion. I would rather say that I have a different construct of reality than she does. Hers, being a dog and primarily residing on the main floor of my house, and me a human having travelled across all of Canada, Hong Kong, and seen pictures of the entire world through my computer. Sure, I’ve seen more, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything unless I am able to form the connections with my experiences. It’s like the story of the man walking past the wall every day for 20 years and not knowing that behind it there is a stash of gold bullion.

I’ve noticed that I have a filter that restricts me from experiencing a clearer perception of my reality. It comes in the form of needing to know and with opposites.

So far in my life I’ve only been able to do find the unity (which ends up as becoming humbleness) when I attend to some mundane task which shuts off my mind. This could be washing the dishes, cleaning the house, or drawing. Marijuana and Salvia have helped clear my mind as well too, however I find that if I did not partake in an activity such as drawing or cleaning my room when I’m smoked it becomes a waste.

My conclusion is that in our world, especially in this knowledge based google-esque period, we over complicate things – at least I do. I substitute knowledge, which is the primary reason for these complications, whereas I am actually seeking understanding. To understand is to be enlightened it is to be awake and to be aware. Knowledge is great because it gives me the power to operate on a different level, but unless I use its power to guide me towards enlightenment then my perception will never change.



Echolocation Concept

November 16, 2009


Watch this: Lucas Murray

The few concept ideas I came up with are: speaker specs, LED glasses (both would be part of a costume), and an echolocation trainer for the blind or athletes who want to train his/her other senses.


Kanye Speaker Specs


Lady Gaga LED Lens


Echolocation Cartoon Description


Echolocation Technical Drawing


On Marketing

November 10, 2009

If you haven’t heard of Seth Godin check his blog out if you’re more interested in this type of stuff: SethGodin.typepad.com

I had an interesting conversation with the owner of a Subway franchise today when I was picking up a sub.

By 2010 there’s going to be more subway restaurants than mcdonalds restaurants and the reason why is of course because everyone is so health conscious especially in the America. Obesity levels are high and a lot of elementary schools have banned soft drinks and chips because it’s that bad. What I find more interesting is of course the marketing (or non-marketing) with Subway. I rarely see those crazy planet-of-the apes like monkeys but burger commercials are always on. Another thing is the efficiency of their system. Compared to Mcdonalds they don’t have or need as many people to work at one time (just compare their kitchens). Also (I’m not sure about the other fast food restaurants), they have such an effective system they don’t waste any bread or other ingredients and are able to maintain their level of quality. In Canada there’s another purely Canadian chain called Mr. Sub. However, it’s not doing too well compared to Subway. And Quizzno’s, when they first came to Canada did really well but not anymore. Subways way of countering Quizzno’s was to install a toaster oven. Interesting..

However I will say this, and that is only Mcdonalds has been able to capture a very distinct memory in my childhood and because of that they got me for life. Which is weird because I spent most of my childhood eating at a Burger king :$. I guess it was those Mcdonalds Pizza’s that did it for me.

My question is this: What makes great marketing? When Subway launched the Jared campaign it seems nowadays that it was great timing (it was at the cusp of the health craze of 2000). It resonated with however many millions of obese men and women. Would it have been successful at any other moment in time? And what emotions did it appeal to? I’ll leave it at that

– turtle


November 8, 2009

I sent this to a friend almost a year ago. She asked me why I was selling my turntables and I replied with this:

“It’s about expressing the self. I don’t find dj’ing or scratching as raw as other things such as drawing, singing, or dancing. Don’t get me wrong, I do love scratching, but if it’s art we’re talking about then I’d want the medium I express it in not to be muffled by technology.”

– WOW. What a load of crap!

I have respect for artists of all kinds. But if I were to define or compare ‘genuine artists’ the rant would be something like this:

‘I once watched an interview with Tom Hanks when he was doing the junket rounds for Saving Private Ryan. He was talking about his early days in Sacramento State. He said one thing that would forever stick in my mind. To paraphrase: “The only difference between a ‘professional’ and an ‘amateur’ (actor) is the ability to take rejection. Not many people can go to 30-40 auditions and still say to themselves ‘boy I know I’ll get the next one!’.”

I believe in tenacity because (duh) it’s the things I’ve kept on doing that I’ve had success with. Therefore,  success is synonymous to the length of time you spend on your craft. I remember the main point in the Outliers was the 10,000 rule. Simply put, all successful individuals from Bill Gates to Mozart only became truly successful after spending 10,000 hours on their craft (he even says, even though Mozart was a child prodigy he only produced significant work when he was around… 17? ish?

Whether what you do is more less ‘pure’ because it’s muffled by technology was a pointless thought. In my mind, an artist is an individual continuously working on his craft and never stops.


Back then I took the belief of ‘truth’ too far. There is no truth in art because art is just an individuals energy translated into some result. Unless there are rules confined (such as art school) then there’s place for truth.

I came across this fellows work a few weeks ago: Willard Wigan. I was utterly shocked at his work. It’s one of the most original things I’ve EVER came across. Unlike a painter which we all would dismiss as another (hopefully noble) profession, when I first came across Willard’s work I thought to myself “Wow this guy is amazing!” but then I thought “Why would someone waste 7-8 weeks on ONE sculpture? What function does this ultimately serve?” After thinking about it for a moment I came to the same conclusion in the beginning that it’s just something he does. Like Warhol, he doesn’t go about trying to explain to people why his work is important or what its supposed to mean. It’s what it is.

With my own art. I hope I will be able to teach myself that it’s about the OCD of constantly working at the two things that I have massive passion for.

– turtle